Its closing in. I can feel its hulking presence looming over my shoulder. A huge, dark beast, hot fetid breath on the back of my neck, I try to ignore it but my clenched jaws ache and the hated tears are a constant threat.

My place of business has been sold, the new owner starting with a huge debt. No raises in sight. No overtime allowed. Both my kids need glasses. I have a cracked tooth that needs to be repaired. My couches are torn, my rugs are ragged and paint is peeling from the clapboards. All my appliances have been in service since the house was built - 16 years ago, every new chirp and whir making my heart skip a beat.

I barely made ends meet last year and this year oil is higher, electricity is higher, taxes are higher. My kids are growing, they're eating more and the price of food is higher, they're moving out of kids zized clothes and adult sizes cost more. The exes company changed medical plans - higher copays and a new deductible.

It's only October and the tax refund I got in late May, the one that was supposed to pay for some of the repairs around the house and be my financial cushion for a whole year, is nearly gone. Not one penny spent on the house. All gone on the everyday costs of living. And the holidays are coming - I don't expect that December bonus I've come to count on to help pay for xmas presents.

And my dog bit the tip of an ear off the neighbor's dog - vet bill still pending, invisible fence an immediate purchase.

Yes. I feel it coming.

Depression, the loathsome demon at my back.